PHOTOS AS OIL PAINTINGS-STIRRING OLD GHOSTS

ASPIRING OILS

 Not being clever enough to know why, I've noticed that a long lens capture of people against the sea takes on what I call an "oil painting" quality or texture.

  A pixelation occurs that creates an affect as though it had been rendered by a paint brush.

   It is no doubt a technical faux pas, but I'm fond of it because it indulges my desire to oil paint.  At least it permits a "composition" to aspire to an oil.

NO VACCINE FOR PTSD
Killing the Messenger

     Before you read on, please note this is a bit like a personal confession or a public therapy. 

     The film Kill the Messenger strikes a nerve and activates a strain of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

     The story is true and it points fingers at dishonorable behavior in a dark chapter of recent American history. San Jose reporter Gary Webb put together pieces that detailed how the CIA flooded South Central LA, and other American cities, with crack cocaine to fund the contra war in Nicaragua. 

      The Reagan administration couldn't get Congressional funding to fight the Sandinistas so they sold weapons and drugs to raise the money. Remember Colonel Oliver North and that saga? 

      In Dark Alliance, Webb broke the story, then the CIA fought back and broke Webb.

       It wasn't until later the true implication of Webb's reporting was confirmed. Sadly Webb did not live to see full vindication. He was dead from two bullets to the head, supposedly a suicide. Think about that for a moment.

      This film directed by Michael Cuesta, based on Webb's book and starring Jeremy Renner hits close to home. Webb's reporting was an active element during my own investigative and documentary work. It was the source of professional conversation and workshops. 
      After first playing the Webb revelations other media like the LA Times, Washington Post, New York Times, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN backed away and/or  turned on Webb. Media "elites" were played and manipulated by CIA spinners and deceit. The film sets the record straight and reveals duplicitous and cowardly behavior. Webb's reports and the reaction they created was something we thought a lot about back then. It is good the truth is seeing the light.

      I thought about it when I was in Nicaragua during the Contra War. But like other journalism it becomes just another episode, another old story, getting colder, being filed away in the memory bin. But Renner's portrayal awakened old memories. It is fair so called "distinguished" media enterprises are shown for their role in trashing Webb and his story. Some of the principals may even feel a sense of shame. Beyond that however, is the visceral response to the vivid depiction of the grueling challenge and emotional drain of balancing investigative reporting with family and their safety. That layer of the film hit me like a gut punch. 

       What I write here now may have no significance save to a precious few, and I hope that few, my wife, my daughters my close colleagues and their families can take a measure of why we were the way we were-our behavior, our pre-occupation, our fears. Those who put self at risk, who endured harrowing and obsessive hours, manic months, giving up pieces of lives with loved ones, did so with a belief that what we were about meant something and was important.

     We reasoned once we published or broadcast information that a legion would then care, would believe and that right or justice would ensue. The reality is something quite different. 

     Killing the Messenger plays it true. Sometimes it's like the guy who gets knocked down, and kicked in the ribs and then kicked in the face. The pursuit of an approximation of truth, of facts, of the story doesn't have a happy ending. The truth of that as revealed in the Renner film woke up old pain, heartache and self reproach. 

     As tears dried I felt a sense of grace, a gratitude for my family who braced and supported me and for the good fortune of having emerged from that life to something with hope and joy. Man, how easy it would have been to slide into deep cynicism. 

     Ben, my late friend, producer and partner in many Quixotic adventures used to say, "It's like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. It feels good when you stop!"  We were able to stop. Some of our efforts produced change, but human kind is always up to the same old stuff and lot of what investigative reporters do has only passing effect. You learn to live with it. Some victories are short. Some never come. Webb didn't get the advantage that some of us did- to live longer lives and to take that, even if it means living with ghosts. Kill the Messenger rattles old graves.

      See you down the trail.

TAKE A HIKE! A FAST CROWD THROWBACK

THE HIKE

   Take a hike with us on the Morgan Pass Trail in the Muir Wilderness above Rock Creek in the Sierra Nevada. At this point we are at about 9,600 feet.

   It's brisk and there is a growing breeze.

   Warnings were posted about an increase in bear activity.
In previous years we've seen only bear scat.

  As we gain altitude we get better looks at peaks in the eastern Sierra.

  Moving into open meadows the wind begins to gust.

   At this point I'm fascinated by the spire like chalk white peaks on this portion of the range.

   Getting closer to 11 thousand feet Lana puts on gloves, the temperature dips and we see patches of ice on the trail.

 We find a spot that partially blocks the wind so we can take a picnic break.

   Our view is another lake and meadow.

   Down the trail after lunch it's time for a rest. Legs and knees can use a break after a few hours of trail and the stone ledge retains the warmth of the sun.

   When we set out we didn't know we'd need to layer on
vest, over fleece, over shirts, but that's why you fill your packs for any number of eventualities.  One thing you can always count on is the sheer beauty and awesomeness of the mountains.

Photo by Lana
Walking Stick created by Moto Groove
A FAST CROWD THROWBACK

1964 Warren Central High School Track Team.

  Hard as it may be to believe I ran the 100 yard dash, 180 yard low hurdles, a leg on the relay team and was captain of the team. Any guess on who of these lads I am?  My brother John, the high hurdler, is missing from the photo.

  See you down the trail.

HOW DO YOU BECOME A "MAN"? and HAPPY HOUR IN THE CORRAL

HAPPY HOUR

  Some think of California as LA, Hollywood, SoCal, San Francisco, freeways, beaches, show business and population.
   Many forget California is "the west."  Sure, there are eastern states where they can wear the title of "the west," but none are as western as California. I frequently see cowboys, on horseback, riding the range, tending to cattle. We have friends who are ranchers and a lot of what they do is traditional cowboy work.
    So while happy hour can be a cold beer, glass of wine or cocktail, it can also be this.

     Seeing horses on a mountain side, kicking up dust in the long slant of evening sun, I feel as though I'm in a cowboy movie-in my case it would be Billy Crystal's City Slickers!!!  

HOW TO BE A MAN

     A comment in a program about women in war launched me on a thought trail. No disrespect to that issue.  In fact I encourage viewing of  MAKERS, an excellent series on PBS, but this concept of "being a man" is stuck in my head.

      It was said it used to be the only way a male could prove his manhood was to go to war. If I were an anthropologist I might refute that historical premise. However, in our age, manhood certainly comes in many faces, roles, and iterations.

      A life of labor, providing for a family come to mind. Setting aside individual dreams to assure a quality of life for children is a very manly thing. There are countless journey's to "manhood"-living honorably, true to ideals, teaching, being a cop, staying sober, back breaking labor, medical work, emergency services, mentoring, emigrating and starting over, building, leading a church choir, driving a cab, being a lineman, editing a newspaper, plumbing, lawyering, running a business, investigating hate groups, challenging bad laws, standing up for the abused or disenfranchised, being a correspondent, philanthropy, creating, and on and on. Women do these things too and making such a point should serve to underscore how gender judging ideas like "manhood" or "womanhood" are anachronistic. Maybe it is better to think of our humanity instead.

     There is still combat, danger, crime, evil, hatred and other, perils, disasters and destruction's of life. Men and women will  respond and sometimes in heroic and sacrificial ways. I think a nation is indebted to those who go into harm's way (There is very little that is manly or womanly in the way this nation has historically responded to our service personnel. But that is another discussion. And too medical workers and journalists who endure combat or natural violence, without weapons, are rarely remembered for their service)

     Valor and courage are fine human attributes, but they can also be manifest in hard work, sacrifice, loyalty, reliability, honesty and devotion.

      We've all known good men and good women who have simply been brave in the way they have lived good lives. 

      If we can think of manhood in diverse ways, beyond the context of struggle, then maybe we can start putting down our clubs, spears, guns and bombs.

GOOD BYE TO A GOOD GUY

Courtesy of Mediabistro.com/

    Ben Bradlee was no saint, but he was a helluva of good newspaper man. He spoke his mind, guided the Washington Post to an era of greatness, presided over the courageous Watergate coverage, was friend and confident to Presidents, an advocate of a strong and free press and an entertaining story teller.

      To generations of journalists he was a kind of patron saint, a standard bearer. 

       Ben Bradlee, 93. -30-

      See you down the trail.

FALL'S EYE PLEASURE and GONE GIRL AS A JOKE?

AUTUMN PAINT

  Tis the time of year when the blogosphere fills with fall color. Here's a contribution.

   Mid October in the Sierra Nevada is a treat. Providence provides a majestic palette.

   Perpetual gratitude to Ruth Armstrong who first alerted us to the wonders of the eastern slope and to Art Edis who suggested a fall color expedition in the June Lake region.

     Color hunters from around the globe share the mountain roads, lakesides and vistas in a joyful and hushed reverence. 

GONE GIRL

a divergent view

   The David Fincher film based on Gillian Flynn's well read book and powerfully written screen play is getting a lot of buzz. Fincher is a superb director and superb too are actors Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike and Kim Dickens. Pike's role is award nomination worthy. Neil Patrick Harris and Tyler Perry bring a lot in their small but important supporting roles.

   Some reviews have focused on the tight intrigue and mystery while others have plumbed the portrayal of marriage, manipulative madness, deceit and how truth can be quite a relative thing.  Fincher does all of that while moving a compelling story line ahead.  All of this is good.  Some of this is serious.  The brutality and deceit are troubling.  Still I left the theatre thinking what a clever joke it had been. I don't know if that is because of Flynn's writing or Fincher's directing or my sense of things after a life in journalism.

    Gone Girl was entertaining, with an emotional ride, but in the end was a kind of satire.  Look at how silly the media, especially cable news, and stories that spark feeding frenzy mobs really are. What does it say about the media and those who consume this stuff?  Look at how mercurial are fame and reputation.  Look at how vulnerable and relative "truth" is.  Look how a clever and deceptive mind can lead police, justice and media astray. Look at what happens in relationships.  Look what is says about honesty in being who you are.  Yep, Gone Girl does all of that and I think Fincher and company did it all in such a way that at the end we really need to chuckle and perhaps shake our heads. 

     I suspect most viewers wonder what happens next. You may have your own theory. The audience at our viewing left with a range of reaction and vocally so, which I understand happens with this film. Intense, even searching drama it was, but I wonder how many may see the humor in it all?

     See you down the trail