NOW THAT HEF'S DEAD...

revenge of the fantasized

    Sexual socio-politics is certainly at a disruptive distance from the imaginings and slick fantasies of Hugh Hefner. This passage of "revelation and reckoning" is on our thanksgiving list, like cranberries-bitter sweet and essential.

     As tough as it is for women to unearth moments of victimhood, it contributes to the good for everyone. Healing, we hope.

     Men are telling other men to inventory their own actions. We are stunned by the list of those who have fallen. For the present this is a type of national catharsis, and it is a time to be careful.

     Thought and deliberation are necessary. I think most of the fallen have personality disorders-they are creeps, "perverts" and abusive. Not all of the behavior is similar, though all of it may have been unwanted. Some is disturbed, some is poor judgment and the difference is important. 

      The assaults, physical or emotional are connected to  history and we have allowed it. I recall how a woman colleague at a radio station was subjected to salacious and lascivious comments by another colleague. It happened almost daily. I was embarrassed by it, but I did not write it up or report it. The humor at that time, our company attitude and even public standards reflected an uneven field. Social standards were complicit in abusing and objectifying women, systemically. 

       Careful accounting is important. Rebecca Traister, an author who is also a writer-at-large for New York magazine raises a curious dilemma. She asks how culpable were feminist leaders and other women who "condoned" Bill Clinton's sexual escapades because he supported their agenda?

     We need to recall little boys growing up amidst social cues and norms. The Hefner influence objectified women, sexualized their appearance and body, made a behavioral game of sexuality. That also shaped culture and behavior.

Harvey Weinstein appears to be a lout and a debased egotistical slob, and while it is not a justification he is right in saying the "culture was different." The change happening now is evolution. 

     But this reckoning raises questions. How then does someone  flirt or "come on," seek and pursue a potential romance or love interest? What is an appropriate way to begin? What are acceptable opening lines? 

     Should we no longer complement friends or colleagues on a haircut, style or anything of their appearance?

     How far back do we go to seek an apology, explanation, or justice? Could the zeal or emotion of this social change impact its legitimacy and legacy?

     How do we question the authenticity of an accusation without seeming to further victimize? Are the accused entitled an explanation? Could a comment or action simply have been ill-conceived or a case of misperception? Will we rush to judgment? 
     When does the focus turn to the sitting president, quick to criticize others, but also accused of sexual assault?

     You see how careful we must be. 

     This appears to be a most profound cultural change, an inflection point on social history. Anger alone should not be the architect of what is to follow.

autumn settings on the central coast

vineyards adopting fall color

a house concert

Katherine's sand box. Art by Neal.

a grand entrance

Cayucos night light

Piper Riley Evans-a Scot's salute

Joie and Karen in thought

A birthday petite four 

       These old boys have seen many changes on their watch.
More are on the horizon.

       Welcome to the season. Thanks for your readership.

      See you down the trail.

Going Coastal

Fall on the Cambria coast

the coastal ice plant is wearing its fall colors

the fat lady may not sing

     From the blogosphere to the mainstream media there have been collective sighs that our electoral night mare is about over. Don't pop the champaign corks yet.

     As someone who has loved politics since I crashed state conventions in high school and as someone who was paid to pay attention to the whole business, I will share an 11th hour thought. Buckle up and hold on.

     This Presidential election is evidence of how broken and fallen is our body politic. I love public policy and our democratic republic. I am a realist and a pragmatist, but when our American Idealism is as trashed as it is, we are off course and in deep water.

     Wouldn't it be nice to think that after Tuesday night both sides will bury the hatchet and begin focusing on making these states United again. 

      Should Trump win do you think Democrats in the Senate and House will stand by and watch him begin a mass deportation, nominate judges committed to rolling back Roe vs. Wade, flip off NATO partners, build a wall or let the many law suits and allegations against him from fraud to sexual assault just go away. Or do you think if Clinton wins the knuckleheads of the Liberty caucus will suddenly believe in the federal government, or will let her e-mail server go away. 

     Trump is riding a wave of anger and frustration, just as Bernie Sanders was. But aside from those angry and frustrated citizens, Trump has the support of overt racists, white supremacists, anti Semitic and anti Muslim extremists, misogynists and anti government terrorists. Perhaps the angry and frustrated will accept the election results, but that portion of the Trump voters who are the anti social, dangerous, criminals they are will not likely slither back to the rocks from whence they emerged when Trump unleashed the vulgar and hate filled political demons. He has energized them and even given them legitimacy. His top advisor is an alt-right godfather. His pandering took this nation into a dangerous place and created a shroud of hate that will hang over this nation until the haters, the real haters, are dealt with.

     The 2016 election is a low point in American history. We are broken and morally bankrupt. We need heavy doses of vision, idealism, compassion and healing. Who is up for that?

      

      See you down the trail.